September third. I'm twenty-five years old today. I went to the SLC 2600 meeting, met some new people. I rode the trax to get downtown. I like the trax.
So its a Friday night, its my birthday and I have no clue what I want to do. I'm broke, the hippies fired me.
I'm hanging out at 'Cheers to You', they have Karaoke on Friday nights. Noon is always on my case about how gay Karaoke is if you're not a japanese man. I still have fun regardless.
I dont have any minutes left on my phone card, not even access to a free phone. Do I hang out here at the bar and wait for Ben or anyone else I know to show up?
I hate birthdays because I feel like I am supposed to get all excited about my life or something but I cant bring myself to it. Too much energy is required and I dont have the money to show myself a good time.
Theres some weird 80's sounding music playing in the background, some up-beat kitchy song by 'The Cure' I think,
The karaoke guy is wearing the same outfit he wears every week, that black hat with a brim and the black suit jacket to match, and he is passing out the books and slips.
I got myself a water, its still light out, and the bartender gives me a nasty look. 'Yeah I'm broke, so what?' I think to myself.
Some other guys are talking about how it is somebody's birthday today as well. Why do so many people have their birthdays right now, must be the holidays spent fucking, just to keep warm.
There's this guy with wicked looking chops engulfing his whole jaw, it looks longer than the hair on his head.
Over the music you can hear the occasional bell ringing like a giant cow bell as the bartender demonstrates that he was tipped generously.
There are several attractive ladies scattered throughout the bar and the all seem pretty classy and laid back.
Maybe I should play the 'Its my birthday' card and get some drinks.
This is one of those bars that goes straight back, enough room for a row of tables along one wall and the bar along the other with just enough room to brush by the random stranger as you walk through the long hall, thats what it is, a long hallway with a couple pool tables in the back.
It smells like cigarette smokle and perfume, and as the back door opens occasionally there are small short wafts of cool air that create a small breeze as the air gets sucked in through the back, mixing the artificial scents of feminine beauty with the growing scent of stale smoke.
The buzz of small chatter stays moderately low as the karaoke guy makes his announcements and several more people fill into the bar.
I'm getting bored, so maybe I will bum me a cigarette.
Will it be the table in front of me with the attractive waifish anime doe eyed brunette and the smiling sishwater blonde and the anonymous dude?
Will I make friends with the other birthday boy who listened to redneck jokes that the guy in the hoody was telling with the attractive woman with the pink purse sitting in between?
Or would I rather keep to myself and remain a private mystery?
I'll just ask the anonymous girl with glasses that has been sitting by herself since I got here.
At least the daylight is fading at a quickening pace as the energy of Friday night slowly starts to fuse with the mood, synthesizing in my brain, a need for more energy, well I guess I will create my won. I've always been pretty good at creating my own energy and the cold air stimulates me to open my cell and step into this reality.
As I smoke my cigarette, I wonder if I should attempt to call on Tyler and Karen, or maybe Ben?
I've been talking with Alexis today and she keeps talking about how she would like to take me out. Jesus, I'm 25 years old, she's like nineteen. She cant even get inside the bar.
I'm almost dissapointed on a sub-concious level as I listen to the clack of billiard balls and thinking to myself that Its not like the movies, where somebody walks by with feigned interest and says 'Hey there, whatcha writing?'
Am I hoplessly writing to myself as a ploy to draw somebody into my existence?
Make another trip to the bathroom.
Its still early as fuck, maybe I should take the Trax back to my aunts house so I can call some friends. Yeah, I think I will.