One of the rare times I wake up like this. Clam, relaxed, happy, and in love. The girl in my dream, and this was a literal dream that occured to me while sleeping.
I remember a sensation of touch. she is running her fingertips through my hair, and tracing them across my ear, her arm holds me close to her body while I continue to sleep. I feel safe, i feel safe. in my dream I am napping in her lap and there are some images seueqenced before this.
there is a memory of my father's face
i feel as if we are at my house
if I remember correctly, we are in salt lake at her house and we drive in her car to come to my house. she carries a cell phone with her, and has a pager that reminds me of my old pager.
while I lie in bed, she strokes me indefinately, i feel like this has been going on forever, and it is a feeling that I am familiar with in this dream. this is very nice. there is no sense of loss, just the feeling and conviction that I will always feel like this. Because she is near. she is close. I can smell her, I can hear her heart beat.
as she touches me on my neck and shoulders and back and face, I strive and yearn for her to feel what I am feeling and as I lay in her lap I give my hand over to the electricity flowing through me. I touch her leg, she is wearing a skirt. I trace a path with my fingers ad share my feeling of safeness and security with my open palm pressed to her skin, and by squeezing her close
her phone keeps ringing. or some sort of alarm keeps going off and it sounds just like the chirping that I heard while I am playing final fantasy VIII the night before
we are in a car, driving around on the freeway, trying to get to our next destination, but it is a different face with me. we are trying to get to payson. there are deisel trucks driving in both directions on one side of the freeway. we continue southbound on our journey.
the phones are still chirping and I am in my bed and there are pieces of her still lingering, like her high heels on the floor. her scent, some girl clothes scattered across the room, and my bed is still warm where she sat.
silly girl left her phone and pager here, they are still going off. I remember that she was talking to some friends, a couple, that needed her and needed her help. I check the messages on the pager and read through 2-3 missed messages.
she is back home and she runs to me as her communication devices continue to sound off. we hold each other and I wake up.
after waking up I lie still holding on to that feeling. It is wonderful and I do not want to lose that. but it is just a dream, and I will have to accept that as my day goes on, I hipe I can remember some of it later.
when I awoke I lie still, day-dreaming about the events in my sleep-dream. I closed my eyes and sent my heart out with my day dream, fantasizing of a life such as this. I played through my head what it would be like to get married, and as happy and wonderful as I have been feeling, tears fell from my face.
as reality sets in more and more, I become scared, and frightened, these feelings slowly turn to a sharp kind of pain that turn my tears hot instead of joy.
I look around me and remember where I really am. none of these feelings in my dream are true, and they may never be. but they will always be true in my heart. and once in a great while, I am fortunate enough to experience these kind of emotions through my heart, while dreaming.